Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Pregnancy 101: 10 Things I Learned From My First Pregnancy

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

Being a mom is one of the scariest, most overwhelming, most surprising, most challenging, and absolutely one of the most AMAZING things God has ever allowed me to do. Every day I wake up and the first thing I think about is my sweet little baby boy sleeping in his room down the hall. Almost once every minute of each day while I am at work, I think about him and wonder what he is doing and if he is thinking of or missing me while I am gone. At the end of the day, before I shut my eyes, he is the last thought that goes through my head and the last prayer that leaves my heart is for God to keep watch over him through the night. Being a mom is SO MUCH MORE than giving birth to a new human, and I learn that more and more each day.

In the Beginning...

 There were a few years after Prince Charming and I got married that I wondered if I would ever feel the desire to be a mommy. Unlike many of my friends who got married and started having babies within a year of saying "I do," or at least started trying within a year because they had caught baby fever, I found myself just wanting to be selfish. I wanted Prince Charming all to myself. I wanted Friday nights that I could stay up as late as I wanted and Saturday mornings that I could sleep in as late as I wanted. I wanted to be able to plan a trip to the beach on a whim or head to Mississippi to spend a couple of days with my sister if I felt inclined. I knew from the get-go that a baby would change all of those things (boy, was I right), and I didn't know if I would ever want to give up those things.

Everything Changed...

Step in that fateful night in November of 2012...the night that a cotton-mouth water moccasin had made its way into our backyard with our two Jack Russel terriers, Desmond and Molly Jones. Molly was almost four, and Desmond was about to turn three. Molly Jones was my and Prince Charming's first baby; the dog we were freely gifted as a puppy by our Rongey friends. Both dogs were bitten, and while Desmond thankfully pulled through, Molly Jones lost her life within 36 hours of the incident. My heart was broken...into a million pieces...like...couldn't get up off the chair in the den for 48 hours broken. I grieved for her so hard that all I could do was lay in that chair and cry until I fell asleep. Then, I would wake up and cry some more. It was a vicious cycle. Prince Charming just stayed in the chair beside me to grab me every time I woke up and was overtaken by the sorrow again and again. I missed two days of work; I was such a wreck. The sweet little dog who had loved us so faithfully was gone after just four short years together. People were so gracious and kind to us during that time, and many would ask if we would get another dog to replace her. The thought was completely alien to me...replace Molly? Not possible. She had, no less, left a hole in my heart....a hole that I knew no other pet would ever fill...a mommy hole. It was in December of 2012 that I told Prince Charming that I thought it may be time to have a baby. We decided that although we wouldn't actively try, we would stop actively preventing in January.

God's Gift...

Fast-forward to March 2013. Prince Charming and I found ourselves having to go to Mississippi to attend a funeral for a relative. My (only slightly older) cousin had been tragically and unexpectedly killed in a terrible car accident, and we spent a few days in Mississippi grieving with family and friends. While driving home, Prince Charming and I stopped in McComb to grab some dinner. While waiting for our food to arrive, I was watching the sweetest little young family having dinner. Seeing how much the sweet little toddlers loved their mom and dad, I looked at Prince Charming and said, "I think I am ready to be a mommy." When we finally made it back to the house, I felt emotionally and physically drained and had to work the next day. Deeda had left some sleep aid medicine at my house, and I decided it would be a good idea to take some to help me rest. It occurred to me that since we were no longer preventing pregnancy, it would probably be a good idea to take a pregnancy test before I took the medicine just to confirm that I wasn't pregnant. Thank God He lay that precaution on my heart. I have never been more surprised by the appearance of a pink line in my life! And we aren't talking waiting a minute to see if it appeared...we are talking going on the stick and "TA-DA!"...pink line. I was in shock...I wasn't taking this test to see if I was pregnant because I certainly didn't have any inclination that I was...it was supposed to just be a confirmation that I could take the sleep aid and crawl into bed. Instead, I heard God's voice saying to me, "This is why you had that feeling in McComb. You feel ready to be a mommy because I am making you ready." My God is amazing, awesome, personal, and loving. He knew from the foundation of time this moment was coming, and He had given me a glimmer of hope that I was ready for what was to come because He would be with me.

Thus began my education in pregnancy and mommy-hood. These posts will feature some of the important things that I have learned and experienced, and am still learning and experiencing, as I go and Eli grows. Feel free to post questions or comments but know that nothing negative will stay on my blog. Everyone's experience with pregnancy and motherhood is different and unique because every mommy and baby is different and unique. I would never even slightly claim to know everything by any means. I only pray that some of these things will help ease the mind of a new mom by showing her that she isn't alone. So without further ado, let's get started:

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

Things I Learned (Or Experienced) While Pregnant with My First Baby

The Experiences and Insight from My First Pregnancy

1. Thoughts and Feelings Change Often

We are talking change as in many times a day...an hour...ok maybe a minute. But seriously, so many thoughts started running through my head from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Fear was one of the first things that would pop in now and then. I had known a few moms who had experienced miscarriages or still births, and I was afraid of going through this myself. Thankfully, I was constantly reminded by my husband, my small group, and my family that God is Sovereign and in control and that no matter what happened, He would provide for me. That is the greatest comfort I could ask for, and it helped combat the fear when it would creep in. But fear isn't the only thing that started cycling through my mind. There was joy, worry, excitement, wonder, insecurity, urgency, curiosity...there were checklists and to-do lists and planning...no two days were exactly the same, and that is ok. One day I would completely doubt my ability to be ready for the changes that were bound to come by becoming a mommy, and the next day, I would be overjoyed at the thought of becoming a mommy. Let yourself feel it all because once that baby gets here, this emotional roller coaster will kick into high gear, so let your body and mind prepare themselves for it by experiencing each feeling as it comes. Some things that are helpful are having a strong support system to lean on. For me, that was Prince Charming, my family, and the women in my church. Also, don't let yourself get stuck on dwelling on the negative feelings that WILL occur. Fears, doubts, anxiousness, frustration...all of these things are bound to happen but don't let them overtake you. While it is good to let them happen, it is best to work through them. Staying stressed out or upset isn't good for you or your incubating little one. Talk to someone, go for a  walk, call your doctor (they are usually more than happy to help assuage your fears and give you peace), pray, relax, and/or have a good cry. Your body is doing something amazing and miraculous...its ok to ask for help or take some you time.

2. Your Body is Not Yours Alone Anymore

One of the most amazing, confusing, wonderful, scary, and awesome things about being pregnant is experiencing your body become the life support system of another human being. From the moment of conception, your body starts working to do all it can to provide for and sustain the life growing inside of it. This can be uncomfortable at times, but it is so worth it! No one told me ahead of time that it can be painful to feel your muscles stretch out to accommodate the baby growing in your belly, but when I would say I had felt a "sharp pain in my groin area" other moms would say, "Oh, yeah, that is normal." Why doesn't anyone mention that there can be normal pain associated with carrying a baby? I don't know...some pain is normal. Don't get me wrong, if you experience any pain at all that you can't explain or that makes you worry...talk to your doctor. Again, they want to help you be as comfortable and peaceful as possible during your pregnancy. But do know that if you have aches and pains associated with your changing body, you aren't alone. Discomfort isn't the only reminder that your body is not your own. You will most likely get a dark line from your belly button to your pelvic bone...maybe even longer...as your hormones change. You may grow hair in places you haven't grown hair before...(don't worry...it will most likely also eventually go back to normal when your hormones balance back out), and your skin may be gloriously clear and glowing or red and broken out. Your hair may change, your nails will grow, and you may or may not feel like you have a terrible stomach bug 24/7. But all of this is totally worth the work being done inside of you, and it pales in comparison to the astounding, marvelous joy of seeing your baby born. These moments of discomfort will be nothing more than a distant memory before you know it, so hang in there momma. Your baby depends on you and your body for safety, health, and comfort.

3. Your Growing Body Will Probably Receive Unsolicited Comments

I wish I could tell you why it is so, but it seems your growing body will receive comments from people that they wouldn't under normal circumstances feel are appropriate to say. One night, while walking up to church for dinner, one of the elderly ladies in our church said, "Look at that fat belly. You are just getting fat, fat, fat!" This was not, by any stretch of the imagination, the only comment like this I received. People seemed to find it perfectly normal and logical to say things like, "You are getting huge!" or "Wow! That is a big belly!" or some other variation. I wish I could say that people mean well when they make comments like this, but I really cannot begin to wrap my mind around what makes a person feel it is ok to make comments like this to a woman who is doing one of the most remarkable, exceptional things that a female human is capable of doing. My typical response would be just to smile and say something along the lines of, "Thank goodness I am growing because that means the baby in me is growing well, too." I mean, come on people...I am growing an entire human being. It is perfectly normal for your belly to grow, and grow, and grow...it would be worrisome if it didn't. Don't let these comments get you down or affect how you feel about your pregnant self. A pregnant woman is one of the most beautiful sights on the planet. It is life bearing life, and it is a miraculous, wonderful thing. Don't let the absent-minded, poorly conceived comments of others dissuade you from believing just that.

4. Listen to Your Body and Rest as Needed

I realize that this one sounds completely cliche, but trust me on this...rest is important and only you truly know how much rest you feel you need. In our society, we are taught that not doing something equates to laziness so our schedule should be full of work, personal, and social activities and moments not spent doing something with others should be spent doing something for ourselves...and moments not spent doing either of those things should be spent on social media catching up on and sharing all of our daily events with others. Don't be fooled into believing the lie of distraction; it is perfectly ok to be quiet and still...pregnant or not...but especially when you are pregnant. There were plenty of afternoons that I came home from my job that requires me to be on my feet a majority of most days, and all I had the energy to do was make it to the living room sofa to plop down for a nap or just to veg out. My husband let me know early on that it was ok for me to do whatever I needed to do to take the best care of myself and our baby as I could, so that is what I did. My only regrets are the times that I should have stopped and skipped out on something because I needed to rest and didn't. These moments aren't so easy to come by after baby arrives, so take advantage of the time you can find to rest and relax.

5. Working Out Incessantly is NOT a Necessity

Don't get me wrong here; it is important for you to do some sort of physical activity, as your body and pregnancy will allow, each day. For me, that simply meant taking a walk a few nights a week (weather permitting) with Prince Charming around the neighborhood. And we aren't talking power-walking or speed walking...just a normal paced walk around a few blocks. I have heard stories of women who participate in all sorts of strenuous workout regimes up until the day they go into labor...and more power to you if that is what your body is telling you to do...but don't feel like you need to do this so you can quickly bounce back to your pre-pregnancy shape and size. Our culture, thanks largely in part to the ever unrealistic ideals of Hollywood, seems to now expect women to be fully recovered and back to normal within a week or two of birth. Are you kidding me?!?! Your body has just done one of the most amazing, challenging, and taxing things on Earth, not to mention that you are now adjusting to being the caregiver of a brand new baby 24/7. It is ok to give yourself permission to take things slowly. I remember at my two week check up post birth, my doctor asking how I was doing. I made mention of how my stomach felt squishy, and he kindly said, "Yes. You can probably expect to have that feminine pooch from now on. It will get smaller, but it will always be there. Unless you are a mom in Hollywood...I don't know what the crap they do." Haha! I love my doctor. All that to say, there was a reason that old statues of women had that beautiful curve across their lower abdomen. This wasn't a characteristic of shame or embarrassment. It was a rite of passage; a symbol of glory; a trait of womanhood. Do NOT succumb to the lies that you are less than beautiful, and do not push your body past its limits for the sake of fitting into the world's dumb definition of what is beautiful.

6. Baby Advice Comes a Dime a Dozen

You will have a barrage of pregnancy advice, parenting advice, baby advice, marriage as parents advice, etc. both solicited and unsolicited from this point forward. Take it all in with a grain of salt. No two pregnancies are just alike, so you may experience things in a completely different way than even the people you are closest to. So many times when speaking to my closest friends and family who had been through pregnancy before, they would say, "That isn't how I remember it," or "That didn't happen to me." You know what? It is ok if what you experience hasn't happened to someone you know. You may have trouble sleeping while your best friend was able to sleep like a rock. You might experience morning sickness 24/7 while your mom never felt ill at all. You may crave corn dogs dipped in apple sauce while your sister craved pizza topped with feta cheese, gyro meat, and tzatziki sauce. One blog will say this while another says that...don't drive yourself crazy searching for your pregnancy doppelganger. Send all of the advice you receive and every answer to your inquiries through your own developing mommy filter. Keep what you like and toss out the rest. Everything will fall into place!

7. Make Plans but Be Flexible

Even our best laid plans sometimes work out very differently than we expected. Go ahead and make your plans as best you can: when I will pack the bag, about when the baby will come, who you want at the hospital, the timeline for the nursery, a birthing plan (I never wrote one), etc. Then, be ok with the notion that these things may not go exactly as you planned because the baby in your womb has no idea what you are planning. You may be firm in the desire to have a vaginal delivery, but circumstances may suddenly require you to have a C-section. You might be certain you are having a boy, and you find out you are having a girl. God works in us and through us, and His plans are better than ours. Take heart in the knowledge that even if things don't quite work out the way you would have planned or expected, they are working out exactly the way they are supposed to. In the same way, know that you cannot predict how your checkups will go. I am not the poster child for gestational diabetes, but I sure was diagnosed with it after my first blood glucose test. I went through the entire second half of my pregnancy on a strict diabetic diet to control my glucose levels. I had planned on a pregnancy full of late-night cravings and big plates of awesome shower food, but I had to follow a completely different path for the health of me and my baby. But in hindsight, it was a gift in so many ways. 

8. Surround Yourself with Godly Mothers

The advice and encouragement I received from the women in my church was priceless. It is one thing to go online and read a million different opinions from a million different people about what is best for you and your baby, but it is another thing entirely to have someone who knows you and your faith well to encourage and support you. You see, when someone you know well who is also striving after God's heart gives you advice, it is not with condescension or judgement. It isn't loaded with hidden meanings and subtext or an "I have it all together" attitude because they offer it from a place of grace and love. I never felt pressure from the women I sought advice from one way or another. They would simply and openly share their own experiences, for better or for worse, with me and always follow it up by saying that every baby and pregnancy and parenting experience is different. They encouraged me to listen to my heart and follow my instincts while also sharing with me the path they had taken with their own families. It was invaluable to have this kind of counsel, and I would encourage anyone to seek this type of support system.

9. Take pictures of yourself pregnant...no matter what.

I know this one seems so simple, but I truly am grateful for any pictures I had taken during my pregnancy. Pregnancy is like any other change that happens over time: I saw myself changing each day, but because of the gradual nature of the growth, I didn't truly grasp just how much my body changed during that time. Don't get me wrong...there were definitely days that I noticed my belly sticking out suddenly or how much larger it felt, but I didn't appreciate the amazing gravity of what my body was doing until I went back and looked at photographs of my pregnant self. When I see the images my husband snapped of me before I went to the hospital the night Eli was born, I am blown away at the size of my belly and the fact that it contained the tiny human I was holding just hours later in my arms. It truly is remarkable and awe-inspiring what the female body can and does do to bring new life into the world. Document it...swollen ankles and all! Speaking of swollen ankles...

10. Pregnancy is fleeting...enjoy every moment! (even the not so comfortable ones)

I loved being pregnant. I mean...I LOVED it! It was, by far, one of the most challenging, joyful, overwhelming, phenomenal things I have ever done. Not all of it was easy: having gestational diabetes that caused me to maintain a strictly regimented diet, all of the blood tests I had to go through because of the diabetes, getting really bad swollen ankles the last couple of weeks...not all of it is comfortable: my body was growing and stretching so there were aches and itchiness, I had some "morning" (yeah right) sickness for a few weeks at the end of my first trimester, pregnant women often get gassy (ahem...yep), the last few weeks find it difficult to empty your bladder completely or sleep well, the exams to see if you are dialated (no one warns you just how much it hurts to have that exam...well...it flippin' does!!)...but in all of that, I enjoyed being pregnant. I was able to find joy in my pregnancy even in the hard parts because of the reassurance of God doing a miraculous work inside of me. I was able to smile and feel beautiful despite the swelling and bloating because I had a husband who reminded me every day that I was. And I reminded myself of just how temporary pregnancy is. Even in the moments when it felt hard or uncomfortable...I reminded myself that it was only a matter of months, days, weeks before the pregnancy would be done and (Lord willing) a sweet baby would be in this world because of what my body was doing. I remember late in my pregnancy going to the grocery store and the check out girl asking when I was due. I told her a few weeks, and she said, "You are one of the most beautiful pregnant ladies I have ever seen because you look so happy. Most women who are pregnant just look miserable." I am not saying at all that every moment of a pregnancy is easy or comfortable...and I know that for many women they are anything but...however a pregnancy goes, it is a miracle and you are part of a marvelous, miraculous story that is growing right inside your belly. You are joining the ranks of billions of women who have walked this journey before you. You are blessed to get to do something that some women want with all of their hearts to be able to do but cannot. You are doing something that literally keeps the human race going. You are a walking wonder! Let that be the fire that ignites your joy even when it is hard. Do not take a single second for granted because it is a precious and awesome event.

So...there it is...ten things I learned and/or experienced during my first pregnancy. It is certainly not the extent of all I learned, but it is a start; and I hope it will be a source of hope, inspiration, comfort, or reassurance for someone out there who just wants to know they aren't alone in what they think or feel. Happy Easter, my friends!

In Christ Alone,

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Letters to Eli #5

Hello, puddle duck!

Wow! Really? It has been a whole half of a year already since you were born. Time truly is flying at a crazy fast pace. I am doing my best to soak in every single possible moment I can with you in all of your baby glory. And what a sweet, wonderful baby you are! I am amazed every day at how you are growing and learning. You are so good, and you have such a sweet little spirit about you. You only fuss if you don't feel good or are tired and/or hungry. Otherwise, for the most part, you are all smiles and giggles. You make the most precious little faces, and you steal my heart every minute.

Here are some things you do now: sit up on your own, you scoot around on the floor in circles or backwards, and you are getting very close to crawling. You get up on all fours and rock back and forth by yourself. You have even plopped forward a few times. It is bittersweet knowing you are about to achieve this milestone. On the one hand, it is wonderful watching you develop and grow. I love the idea of you being able to go to what you want and make your way around to explore. At the same time, it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities for you to get into something you shouldn't or to get hurt. I guess this is just the first of many endeavors you will dabble in that will cause me this type of worry. You also love to babble now, and you really look like you are trying to talk when you do it. You love to splash and play in your bath, and the running water in the tub fascinates you. You bounce up and down, you give tiny, gentle high fives, and you shake your head no a lot. You are getting close to learning to wave, and I think you are the most precious little thing I have ever laid eyes on. Truly, you bring my heart such joy and wonder...I am one blessed mommy!

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

Yesterday, we went to your 6 month check up, and the doctor says you are doing great! You weighed 19 lbs 3 oz and were 27.5 inches long. You are a big boy! We get to start working towards getting you even more into baby food. So far, you like sweet potatoes, squash, and hummus. You don't like green beans, apples, or pears. Your Nonnie says you don't like fruit because mommy had gestational diabetes, so you weren't used to sweets. I have a feeling you will come around! :)

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

You are still a very good sleeper, although you still tend to wake up once in the night, either early on (around 11) or in the early morning (around 4:30) to get a dry diaper and eat. I am thinking that once we start giving you more solid foods, that nightly feeding will be cut out. The idea of no longer nursing is also bittersweet. While I look forward to the freedoms that not nursing brings, I am certainly going to miss the bonding that it facilitates. I feel like it is such a part of our relationship, and it even feels like part of my identity now. No matter...we will strive on. I hope that you adjust ok to it as I am sure it will be a bit hard on my heart. No phase in your life, no matter how sweet it may seem, is meant to last forever. These years, days, even moments are all so fleeting. I try to enjoy them while I can, and I try to avoid questioning and beating myself up over every little thing I could be doing differently. You are a wonderful baby, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

I love you so, son, and my prayers for you continue to be the same. The greatest of them all is that you are one day, sooner rather than later in life, called on by God to belong to Him. I cherish you; I treasure you; and I adore you with every fiber of my being.

Photograph by TJMohr Photography
In Christ Alone,

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Quick Crockpot Beef Roast

Quick Crockpot Beef Roast

So, I haven't been able to post a recipe in awhile, but who can blame me when I have been spending every possible free moment I can with this little guy???

I mean...seriously...does any baby ever get any cuter?!?! (Shout out to TJMohr Photography for the amazing 3 month photos!)

At any rate, I wanted to share a quick, easy recipe I was handed by a librarian at one of the schools where I work. It is a cinch to put together, cooks all day in the Crockpot, and has an AMAZING flavor! Normally, when I do a Crockpot roast I use the three packet method that floats around all of the time on Pinterest (one pack of ranch dressing mix, one pack Italian dressing mix, and one pack of brown gravy mix with 1/2 cup water), but this one sounded intriguing and magically delicious. What is this magic you may ask? Here is the recipe she shared with me:

1 beef roast (about 2 lbs)
1 packet of French onion soup mix
2 cans cream of mushroom soup

Place roast in Crockpot. Stir together the soups and soup mix.  Pour over roast. Cook on low for 6-8 hours or until meat is fall apart tender. 

That's it! Seriously...so easy and versatile! Serve over rice, with mashed potatoes (as we did), or make roast beef poboys! This was truly one of the quickest home cooked meals ever, and the leftovers kept and reheated beautifully. I had to tweak the recipe slightly as I didn't have cream of mushroom soup on hand, so our gravy consisted of a can of cream of onion and a can of cream of chicken. I don't think you can go wrong...it was just good! 

I hope you enjoy and come back and visit the site soon. Leave comments and let me know how yours turns out.

In Christ Alone,

Monday, April 7, 2014

Letters to Eli #4

Hey, my beautiful big bald-headed baby boy!

I love you. I love you so much. I love you when you flap your arms and smile so big when you see me come home from work. I love when you are scared of something and make the cutest, sweetest, most pitiful frowny face I have ever seen. I love you when you are having baby angst and can't seem to stop fussing. I love it when you get sleepy and rub your sweet little eyes. And I still love the time at night when I get to take you to your room and we sit down in your rocking chair...Daddy reads you a bedtime story and Mommy nurses you to sleep. I am so grateful that you don't fight bedtime! You still wake up once in the night, usually between 3:30 and 4:30 a.m. to eat, but you always go right back down to sleep again. 

What's new with you...gosh, what isn't. You have peach fuzz hair growing all over your sweet little head. You can roll over back to front and front to back now with ease. You can pick up your whole upper half during tummy time now, and your bathtub sling has been removed for in tub bathing now. You love to blow raspberries with your little mouth, and you love to play in the jumperoo at church. You decided on your five month birthday, about a week ago, that you were ready to sit up on your own. You still wobble over when you make big reaches, but for a five month old baby, you are quite impressive. You have foud your feet and they, along with anything else you can grab, manage to find their way to your mouth often. You like to drink water out of cups and water bottles, and you have started to have a bit of rice cereal before bedtime. You LOVE it! You also like to watch Sesame Street and other cartoons on PBS. Your eyes have changed now to Daddy's color, and I love that.

I am still working, and some days are definitely harder than others. I think that as you get bigger and do more it is harder for me to go because I feel like I miss so much. You learn so fast, and I feel like every day you do something new. On Saturdays, after your first morning feeding (around 8:30 a.m.), I bring you into our bed for Saturday morning snuggle time. I look forward to it all week. I think about you all day every day, and I love coming home to you in the afternoons. I feel like the most blessed mommy in the world to have you as a son, and I can't wait to see what you do next! I love you so much, my sweet baby boy, and I pray for you...always.

Love you,

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Letters to Eli #3

Hello, my sweet baby boy!

As we have reached your four month birthday mark, I cannot help but be in awe and shock that your first year of life is already almost 1/3 of the way through and be amazed at how much you are growing and changing every day. I feel like with every passing moment you are learning to do something new. You have rolled over a few times, and you are on the brink of realizing that you are capable of doing so at will. You are starting to pull yourself up to a sitting position when Prince Charming and I prop you on our knees at an incline. You love to grab your toys on your playmat gym and stick them into your mouth. You also watch us so closely as we move around now that you are starting to roll from back to front trying to keep up with us. And your new favorite thing at bathtime is having your own rag to suck on while mommy bathes you. You are still a wonderful sleeper and an even better eater. You switch from bottle to mommy with no issues, and I am so grateful for the answered prayer of a good (although it wasn't always easy) nursing relationship with you. You "coo" and babble a lot, and I love hearing your sweet voice. Oh, and your laugh...it brings light and joy to a moment like rays of sunshine on a cloudy, gray day. Your daddy LOVES to make you laugh, and it is definitely a contagious sound.

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

Last night, when you were taking your evening bath in your blue tub in the kitchen sink, you started to really pay attention to your little feet. It is such a joy and blessing to be able to watch you figure things out and experience all of the little things I take for granted each day with such inquisitivenss and wonder. This past Sunday, you stood in the Jumperoo in the church nursery by yourself, and I almost cried because you looked like such a big boy. I try really hard to stay in the moment with you and not be too sad that these moments will be gone. It is a dangerous temptation to grieve the passage of time before it has even come and gone...then you miss the moments while they are happening. Your three month pictures your Uncle Boat took of you turned out PRECIOUS! We are so lucky to have such talented friends and family to love on you by sharing their gifts.

Although I wish my family was closer to you to get to experience all of this with you and with me, I am grateful for the family that you do have here. Your Bella, Bubby, and SugarPie love to keep you during the week, and you light up when you see them. I still can't get enough of you, and I can't wait to run home to you at the end of every work day. I still remind myself daily that I am a working mom to provide FOR you, and that helps get me through the tough days. Over Mardi Gras break, you and I had lots of fun adventures together while Daddy was on a mission trip to Haiti. We went to Mississippi to see your Aunt Cookie and Memaw and Aunt Dolly and Uncle John. She snuggled you to pieces! I also realized how very grateful I am that you sleep in your own crib at home. When you slept with me while we were in Mississippi (I didn't bring your pack and play since I had to pack and load up on my own), you were a kicker!

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

One thing we are hoping to work on as a family is taking the time to sit down around the table for dinner instead of grabbing it in the den. I know you are too little right now to really notice, but it is a habit that will be good for us to go ahead and establish as a family. I want you to know that we are always ready and willing to slow down and listen to you anytime you need us.

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

At your four month check up you weighed 17 lbs and 6 oz, were 26 3/4 inches long, and your head circumference was (once again) off the charts! (Don't worry, my love, it is genetic.) You had to get two shots, but you really only cried for maybe 30 seconds before you nursed yourself back to calm. We will start giving you some rice cereal before long, and that will be a grand new adventure for us. That is all for now, my dear. I will continue to pray for you every time I think of you, and the prayers will be the same: that you will be healthy and safe, that you will one day believe in and pursue God with your whole heart and life, and that those around you will all promote a healthy spiritual life for you.

Photograph by TJMohr Photography

I love you more today than yesterday and less than I will tomorrow,